Observing the ocean, I wonder if waves ever feel like they’re stuck or progressing backwards. I see them moving deeper into the ocean, then minutes later the same wave finds itself back on the shoreline. To me that would feel like 10 steps forward and a hundred steps back.
Just imagine feeling the horizon draw you closer to your dreams. Then in a blink of an eye you’re back to where you started, the scorching sand pulling you to its core. It has to be demotivating, I know to me it would be.
What a year
On this 361st day of the year, I’m imagining myself as a wave sailing through the year’s currents.
From thinking 500 words would be good enough to land me rands to achieve the qualification I needed; to being imprisoned in my mother’s bedroom for 9 hours daily, struggling to meet deadlines with a machine that barely switched on. And then the splashes of ‘you’re not good enough’ and sometimes ‘you’re too good for this’ rejections. This is one of the years I will never forget.
Keep it flowing
Have you ever had an experience that links all versions of you? The crawling baby, the rebellious teen and the lost adult all brought together to face each other? August 2020 was that moment for me.
With the pandemic proving that something as basic as breathing can kill you, this moment reiterated how a perceived beginning could be an end.
Our fears differ, for others it’s snakes, heights and like South African women, others fear men. My biggest fear has always been rejection and feeling is so weird no alphabet can describe it.
August 2020 forced me to look this monster dead-straight in the eye and let it know who the real Queen is. It felt like a war-zone. Just as I thought the worst was over, the bloody alien would strike again.
Armed with nothing but ABC, I have proudly defeated a crippling disease.
Travelling along
2020 forced us to be much like waves. Traveling back and forth trying to make it to the other side. Some are strong enough to make it, while others are sent back to the starting line. With death being inevitable it is without a doubt that some will sink into the dry sand. The lucky ones will survive and get another shot at reaching their dream destinations.
Just imagine if scientists could track a wave’s lifetime journey. Watching it go from the rural Port Shepstone, to carrying whales in the picturesque Hermanus or simply being in Nice. How inspiring would that be?
As we wave goodbye to what has been the most challenging year of our lives, I can feel myself diving deeper into the world of endless possibilities.
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